That Time I Wore Slippers to Work

I did it. I wore slippers to work — to my upscale, traditional, business professional office. Not intentionally, of course. It all began with a trip to SteinMart with a friend who had never been. I went specifically to look for a chair, and in perfect SteinMart fashion, left with an arm load of things that were definitely not a chair. Does anyone else identify with that?

My faux UGGs (FUGGs?)

Anywho, on our way to the back of the store where the home goods live, a wallet caught my eye, and then the scarves, and then a pair of boots. Cute little UGG-like boots by Isaac Mizrahi named Short Boot with Faux Shearling Lining. What I did not know is that these are found online under Women’s and then Slippers. I was enamored with the darlings and with the deal. The boots were $14.98 – less than $15! Sold. Let me check out before they realize their mis-pricing.

My faux UGGs (FUGGs?)

I wore my fake UGGs to kick around town, meaning the Lowe’s, Home Depot, Costco, Target circuit. It was a little concerning that the soles were already looking tattered after just a couple of wears, but I still wore them to work on a colder-than-usual morning. I carried my heels and wore the boots, changed at my desk, and did the same when it was time to go home that evening. No big. But on my way to the elevator in our lobby with its glossy, marble-esque floor, I shouted goodbye to the ladies in our reception area and slid past them with a whoosh like Tom Cruise in Risky Business (except with pants).

My suspicions about these fantastic $15 boots were rising. I was telling a friend about how the soles felt like cardboard, had no tread, were already worn, and that I was surprised because the SteinMart I know has always sold quality merchandise. She loved the boots, forgave them their apparent cheapness, and had also never been to a SteinMart (gasp, two friends in one week who had never been!), so she asked where in the store was the shoe department located.

As I began telling her, as the word balloon left my mouth — “the boots aren’t in the shoe department, they’re with the accessories” — it hit me. These are not boots at all, they are slippers! Slippers! Giant palm to face, smh, rofl, etc.

And that, my friends, is how it came to be that I wore slippers to work. Well heck, I’ve worn them in public this much, I may as well keep on, right? It’s like when you order a Margherita and realize it’s only 11:30 a.m. You know it’s poor form to drink before Noon, so do you leave it sit for 30 minutes and drink a watered-down, room temperature Margherita mid-day, or do you tip your glass like nobody’s looking? I thought so.