Say My Name…Again

It’s been a running joke that there doesn’t seem to be a soul in the world who can pronounce my last name correctly. Or anyone who can spell it correctly, for that matter. People say and spell Grope, Group, Groop, Gropt, Grott. Here’s my post from 2014 about this. It is fascinating to me how many ways my name can be misspelled with no hits on a correct spelling. What are the odds? Isn’t this mathematically impossible? Where are my statisticians?

This has been going on my. entire. life.

Last week I contacted a call center for tech assistance (not related to my employer). I gave call center Fred (not his real name, but at this point I’m calling him whatever I want) my first name and I quickly spelled Kelly so as to not be branded Callie as I often am. Because Callie is a ridiculously common name, right?  Then I spelled my last name slowly and clearly, as I always do. I enunciated like nobody’s freaking business. And when I spelled it out I said it like this: “G as in George, R as in Robert, O, PP—that’s two Ps as in Peter.” I said that. “That’s two Ps as in Peter.” After searching for my profile for 18 minutes, EIGHTEEN minutes, he says to me, “that was G-R-O-O-P, right?” What in the world, y’all? What in the WOORLD?

How difficult can it be to put five letters together? But wait, there’s more. Fred got Gropp vs. Groop straight, but at 23 minutes he determined he could not help me and said, “Karen, I have to transfer you to one of the profile managers.” Who the heck is Karen? There’s no Y in Karen. How does this even happen? I said to him, more curtly than I wish I had, “Kelly. My name is Kelly.” “Oh, sorry, the last caller was Karen.” Was that supposed to make me feel better—the fact that he could recall the name of the caller before me but not my name? I should have called him Fred right there to is face. The call was 33 minutes total, my problem was not resolved, and I lost 18 minutes of my life to a search for Karen Groop’s profile.

After the call ended, I got to wondering if there actually was anyone out there named Kelly Groop. What a hoot that would be to ask her if she gets mail for Kelly Gropp! So I did a Google search and BAM, there was one hit for Kelly Groop. You’ve got to be kidding me! Then I looked closer and nearly fell out of my chair. Check out this little write-up by the Wandering Sheppard about one of Raleigh’s first food truck rodeos in 2015. He spoke to Kelly Groop in line at the Cousins Maine Lobster food truck.


I just can’t even with this.

Cheers! (this time I’m actually having a beverage)